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The bloke next door! At the risk of being a bore, Here's a tale bout the bloke next door. An incident he had, And his neck was quite bad, To hospital they rushed him I’m sure. North Hants Hospital then sprung into life, Perhaps a scalpel, a needle a knife, But quick check said stop, Was only a small bop You’ve strained it a bit - my life!!
Take a pain killer and just go home, There's no damage to any old bone, In your car you can ride Back home to reside, It’s hardly worth a moan.
So following day back to work, The neck he dare not jerk, His boss then reported “Your BUPA’s supported” So physio might help you work.
Hampshire Clinic he then visited, The lady said lay on this bed, But no, just to be sure, We'll X ray once more, Before we massage your head.
A few minutes past then behold The pictures she was quick to hold His neck was just broken, How is it he spoken A&E said it was not more than a cold.
I’m not touching that she did say, Its a rigid neck brace on today, No driving, no play, Now what did they say? It bruising now how can that be The pictures are quite clear to see.
Somehow he gets himself home! Hoping for quick healing of bone, His faith in the system, Has gone down the cistern, Its weeks and he’s still at home.
No doubt the Physio will come, After bone has knitted and some, But he would have seen red If they’d massaged his head, If they’d not pulled it off by bone
Clive May 1999
Thanks to Son again! Thanks for fitting the sound card within, T'was craftily done when I was not In. But soon to find the note I sure was When to the shack I went because My tools to return from field day site Where ventured I with all my mite To mend the beam for 70 megs And fell over numerous tent pegs But problemette I seem to have found The CD player plays without sound So Wurtinger's disk I can no longer play Till you have visited another day!
I phone you much but no answer are From your number, Out in your car? The mobiles turned off now what goods that, Or has it just suffered from this and that, A drop from great height perhaps it might be, Perhaps its the rain or the cats had a pee! So try the main line a bit later I thought, Perhaps there's a lesson I need to be taught. Engaged for an eternity it seems to be, Perhaps the Internet's playing with thee. OK, I give in, its digital form, I type this ditty to raise yet a yawn. An post it to you for retrieval a bit later So you can help your poor old pater!
Sons reply ok so i might have made a mistake but had no time ,so had to make a couple of shortcuts here and there i`m sorry if it caused you to tear out hair but my friend Dave is coming round so i will ask about the sound and see if it needs a different lead or if the sound card is for a bin to feed i thought the pins did not seem right so we'll have to come round another night o flipping heck ass and bugger i hope it does not require another for my mind has started aching and the amount of time this saga is taking is to be quite frank, a pain in the ass but like everything else, it will pass so at the end my rhyme is over may your life be sweet and your health in clover!! Son.
Too many NEWTONS in the Global Address book!
Apologies I offer in haste, Your time I wish not to waste, My Email does fly Sometimes awry Because I type at a pace.
Its not that I do it intended, My ways I try to be mended, Your name is adjacent, And I get complacent, And before I know its sended!
So please be patient with me, My glasses will help me see, My monitors small, My head is quite tall, And my hands hang down by my knee!
One thought did cross my mind, An address book example I find, To avoid the confusion One persons solution Was use first name instead all the time.
I did not believe it when told, That Jason..C was that bold, Christian name he was using To stop all confusion, It works as good as gold!.
He started that way I am sure, T'will suit him for ever more But Newton,s to late, The address's left the gate, Management Services set it for sure.
If unwanted mail I send thee, Please send it straight back to me. I hope my conveyance, Doesn't cause much annoyance, A smile I hope I give thee.
The four metre beam The four metre boom's a bit short, Came the shouted frantic report, Are you sure its not there I said, as my hair Stood upright on neck back and taught.
A check in the trailer drew blank, And we considered raiding the bank, To buy a new beam, in time it may seem But not at this time of night, Especially as Alan's so tight!.
So phone calls for divine inspiration To help us with right calculation From the bits we did take It was difficult to make A re-worked design for the station .
A classic Yagi wont fit A short Yagi still isn't it Books were confided, the waters were muddied, But still all designs were all spit.
A phone call to Roy Powers of Antec By now we were all getting frantic, The dimensions we had He said were not bad So try these and be a mechanic.
My garage was raided for bits, Some ally angle and clips, A hand full of screws, Some bolts we could use, Lets hope this thing is a hit.
Bad light stopped play Friday night Our Taff was woke up with a fright, The heavens threw down And soaked the ground But morning came, night mare was right!.
Gut-buster drill plus the pole The antenna was coached to a whole Peters shoulder was rested, As SWR was tested. One point four, we're on a roll!
The gin pole them came into play Up mast to last but a day The swer again tested Not Peters arm rested One point seven, but up now and can blooming well stay.
The amp worked like a charm, No birdies, oscillations or harm, Points were collected Estonia detected, Not once but twice in the day.
Now near the close of Play Old ZOI came shortly to stay, What's that in the air, You've got over there The 4 metre mean we did say.
Its nothing like it should be Said ZOI looking at me Its not the right length It ain't got no strength Its more like a Christmas tree.
There’s two more elements than should be I really can't sensibly see How from the dimensions And you initial intentions That Ariel came to be.
Don't knock it Taff then said to Dave We'll patent it, for we must save, The points we will get Were the best ever yet Its something over to rave.
The contest now over and done All knackered and well past the fun We loaded the trailer Thanked farmer for the favour And transported to Alan’s family farm.
Popham Court Farm, soon we were there The sweat had dampened my hair, Drove up to the barn where we'd originally gone And guess what I saw just there!
The 4 metre pole on the grass Now! was this time to kick ass! The points we had collected Were now well respected Perhaps my anger might pass.
The dilemma we now have to face Is where the elements to place, Investigations looming To find which beam booming Most signal out in one place.
Despite all this and the rain I think we've done it a again The youngsters did well And the Olden's can tell It all came together - Just fine.
The thanks are to numerous to mention We all had the best intention I daren't single out Any names out to shout For missing some ends up with tension.
But pointed comments I will make To those who allowed us to take There prized possessions From homestead situations To use for the contest all week.
I think I have waxed long enough By now you've heard all this stuff From various sources Although not in verses So now is the time to stop.
BRAMLEY FRITH What, no lay in on a Sunday Morn the missus said to me, Just because the Bramley Frith visit has to be, An evening jaunt you said before, that what’s I agreed to do, Not jump out of bed at the crack of dawn just to be with you,
Through the village and Cafaude Lane the twisty winding way T’was not very long before we found young Cliff on air to say, We’ve arrived already but we’re not alone, there’s others here as well The gate is locked, oh no it’s not, the weathers really swell.
The sun burst down and members came from distance not too far First one then two then many more turned up in many a car. Assembled now we headed down the National Grid marked Lane Over several humps and round a bend, turn left then stop again.
Andrew Cleve then greeted us then put us in corral Surrounded by fence I thought its us who are locked in, Subtle but I can tell! A jackdaw joined us from a house he’d adopted as his own, He sat alongside then followed us, walking on the ground.
A plastic bin with sodium light with egg boxes galore Gave Andrew the opportunity to delve inside and explore Its full of moths of every sort, each box had a surprise With Elephant Hawk,Kitten, Buff Arch flying off to rise.
Small plastic pots were utilized to capture several moths, Taking care not to touch with fingers or tiny tots Then we ventured round the site but who was watching who. The Fallow deer were well in view but then they had to go,
These deer are black when on the ground The camouflage is good But lighter deer are often found Where humans provide the food
Its seems that fashion has its place And humans have their way For lighter deer are picturesque And that’s what we want to see
The pylons loomed far high above Their Tesla’s vibrating free, But worry not, the flux is weak And less than your TV
Damsel, Hover and Dragon flies flirted with all and sunder The Jackdaw had his way with them For he was to plunder.
The caged moths were then released And placed upon the trees In shaded woods they like it most For they did seem quite pleased.
The water pepper tasted us To see what we had got?, Just a bite then spit and wait Struth that’s blooming hot.
The silver birch was very big, And very old as well It rised high but never reached The pylons that hummed like hell
Old earth works clearly marked the bounds Of several woodland features Was this bit London Clay or was it not Must listen to the teacher.
A badger set and noses rose To test for smell of fox But nothing found but badgers earth Was disguised well by phlox
Crack Willow marked the way Of an olden woodland path Charcoal burner then we found Its there to warm your hearth
Charcoal once was much in need Melting metal it would do But nowadays its only used For picnic bar-b-que
The woodland coppiced timber used Is a renewable commodity But Tesco,s lumpwood in my shed Gives guilt complex to me!
Books and all young Andrew writes Of interests far and wide Botany and history, Whales and frogs surprise!
Then upon a cleared patch Some craftsmen upon we came, I’m a bodger said first one, My wife said “He’s the same”
A whittling down the fresh wood sticks Then turn in woodland tool A brace and bit to make the holes Hey Presto, its a stool
In all this lot I’ve missed a bit Bout Pollarded trees we passed I’m sure that if we had all day More questions we’d have asked
But gentle saunter through the wood And look inside the huts Took a couple of hours , was very good Could have made it last for hours.
So many thanks to Andrew Cleve And his team of volunteers We’l raise a glass and express our thanks With a very genuine “Cheers”
Clive 18.7.99
“Taff, Very accurate and accurate to boot,” I must admit that my mind would take root, If poems or verse or some other refrain, My mind would try over and over again,
But this is the difference you can’t always see, For you are you and I am me, I know that Ebay is the sales room to choose, But me? I don,t want my credit card to loose, So plastic card numbers I keep in my boot, And trust only that smaller board round here called LOOT.
Now Jan and her mum are packing to go, I need to go shopping first so I will be so Quite shortly to jump in the Landie and drive, So goodbye from her and goodby from Clive
G4ODM 27.12.03
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Thanks to Son.
Thanks for your email last night,
CHAIRMANS REPORT BARC OCTOBER 1999 This year the report comes in rhyme, So spare me a little more time. We start with our thanks, to those in the ranks who make this Club endure all the time.
But committee I must thank quite soon Who frequently fill my front room, If forget them again I’d want transplant of brain For I don’t want to hear any more moan.
In fairness they all did quite well, There’s lots of stories I could tell But this isn’t the time, to take the mick in rhyme I don’t want to ring any bell.
About this time last year The foxhunters were living in fear Of finding a pub that no longer did grub Or let the kiddies inside the bar.
I got my plate for the car, This flash git can be seen from afar Janet got hers, she don’t growl now - just purrs Like 300 others so far.
LEP,s stint at Church Cottage went well To raise funds for MS charity he did tell QSL’s were prepared, no expense was spared, The morning went rather swell
Jins jokes don’t get any better, From the cartoon in November news letter The Mot Pot I have tried, to make it subside If its yours could you do better?
Fox hunts go on unabated, Divorce must be surely awaited Its right, no its left, I am surely bereft, No I wont be blooming placated.
The New Forest as usual went well, There are many stories one could tell Of barbies supreme, in the evening sublime Two fox hunts too , what the hell!
Some internet providers did go In one year Freeserve did grow To the biggest UK, provider they say To the phone bill next I say NO.
November Mike O’Beirne we did saw Talk about radio gear for a war December we had a party, not bad January junk came - galore
Trimble Navigation it says on my list, For February, did I come ? or was it missed, Perhaps away I did go, for my employer to sow Seeds in the German mist!
Digital TV I am sure, Came in March Ken Barritt of Sony once more, His viewpoint he gave, will last to his grave A inspired speaker and certainly no bore.
Taffs project in April did well, Active attenuator was really quite swell Preparations supreme, PCB and silk screen. This project just hit the bell.
New hunters tried it in haste Blow me down, they’ve got in first place, This really is no fun, at having to run After those just starting this race!
Sony restructured their op Which meant Steve Harding was out of his job, So Steve had to go, to pastures quite new And with it our venue went pop.
Our Taff had the best lead of all And quickly found us a new Hall It looks like a shed, but it aint all that bad, And the barmans the best one of all.
The funds they did ask, Were not to far past What we thought we might raise via adds. But Lynch paid up front, the rest had the hump But raffles now drawn by the lads .
The amount of the rent, to make them content Depends on what goes over the bar. So before you head back, Give the bar a fair crack, And average a couple of jar.
Our visit to Bramley Frith Is something I will forever live with Its a mixture of nature, some bits of old stature And pylons above with too live.
Ruth Bamford came in our June An attractive lady - I did swoon The eclipse she did speak, She could talk all week, She was gone so very soon.
CW - Brian was to tell, Of PIC processors and programs quite well It seems you can get, software off the net To make things work - what the hell. A new class of license was announced, Five words a minute they did pronounce, With just this you can play, 100 watts HF all day Now 12 words is fading away.
Its believed that CW will go I wonder what Government will do With established class Bs, who want to be pleased With old call sign and HF ho ho!!
The novices did well also For two metres they now could go. And ten watts to boot, to help them get out Why bother with class B - dunno.
Our new clutch of novices took test, Not quite as lucky as the rest, As ladies all failed, frustration they wailed But boys passed and joined in with the rest.
World Scout Jamboree in Chile Presented by Frank Herritage - not me What presentation skills, Our Frank has - with frills . It really was worth waiting to see.
The Hamfest at Hatfield House Was - well really something quite else! Out Jim was again right, About the Societies plight In organising events they did flounce.
We put on a DF demo. In the arena we were there to go But PA there was not, from my viewpoint a flop, I nearly walked off and went home.
But show we came there to do, With Club T shirts all printed and coo We all looked quite good, wherever we stood. But loudhaler was a load of poo.
The following night that video fright presented by Russell and Taff It showed that the demo was - far from the best and then we had a good laugh. Our Taf had a few and young Russell knew how video camera did work, So interviewed Taff in true Paxton style who answered in worzelese verse.
With tongue in my cheek I submitted a bill to RSGB for our costs, I thought to myself lets go for the max, there’s nothing here to be lost. To my great surprise, in letter box I did find, a cheque from Society there, So “T” shirts are free to those who took part and petrol money at cost.
VHF Field day, Now what can I say, that’s not previously covered in rhyme, I’m sure that next year, with mostly same gear we’ll be up there another time. The teams are quite slick, the Antenna did the trick and results keep us well near the top, With results like this, next year we cant miss, this is one facet we wont stop.
So Side band we try, a long pole did guy and HF operation we did do The weather was fine, the cow pats did whine when as frisbies they hurled just a few. Out taff rushed back from hols to organise the poles with Alan and Cliff just for starters The gene kept going and points became flowing so perhaps next year we must do
So these snippets I offer from our Club that do prosper with Alan holding the purse He’s not that all bad, this much cash he’s not had for many a year in the past. Tight Git I did say, and not while he was away to his face I dared the comment But hang on to his cash, is not being rash, I don’t think he will easy relent
So thanks once more I do give, to committee and members herewith, For without your support, ther’d be no report, no chairman, committee to live. Well I have talked long enough, that’s enough of my stuff so secretary is next on to go, Then treasurer to follow, all that money in to wallow, the lucky so and so!!
Andrew & Sally, what a joy you to greet From Honeymoon you have just been, Where away you have gone? Away on a plane Or to London to see the Queen.
I bet the weather was kind and warm The see, a deep blue tinged green The mobile phone being left behind The business not to be seen
The stories you tell of your work force so swell Make me sure that all will be fine When returneth again to the desks , his and mine! With booming orders as well.
Oh but the way boss, that machine made a loss Last week its crank shaft went bang We did try our best to make up with the rest But power cuts were out of hand
The creditors came, just playing a game To make sure shares were well rested The books they did take, calculations to make The company value was tested.
But forget this bad dream, I don’t wish to be mean, As verses just come unabated T’is near a year since we were both near And new Beaujolais is shortly awaited
So good luck to you both, I’m sure you’ll stay close. Together for many a year, But when will we meet, I savour the treat But Andrew I am well sure to hear.
Quite well in advance of any quick glance Of Sally we’re likely to get. So Andrew I ask to take on the task Introductions, and don’t say “not yet”
ODE TO AUTUMN (Nothing to do with John Keats)
Its autumn again and the world is on fire, The woods are ablaze under Natures attire, The leaves are a flutter with bronze and with gold, And the Years Song of Glory is nearly told.
Out in the country and even in town, The leaves are a’swhirl with russett and browns, As though nature is weaving her richest of gowns.
The cherries are crimson, Still green is the bay But dusted with frost, at the break of the day. The sky is as blue as a mid summers day, But dark are the morns and short are the days.
The leaves are a whisper by the winds mighty breath, Soon it will be Winter, To the leaves - certain death.
Janet 20.11.99
I,ve tidied the lab into the bins, if there’s anything you want kept check them now!
I've looked in the bin
From the Father of the Bride 10.6.2000
Welcome to one an all I can’t really talk al all So a ditty I made. Bout Amanda and Dave Who are Oxlade together, that’s all.
Dave and Amanda have now tied the knot No longer is Amanda Caroline a Mott. An Oxlade she is And quite full of fizz I’ve lumbered him with the lot.
I thought I was giving her away. A load of my mind I thought, horray! But have I got it wrong, I heard Dave sing a song, A son-in-law I've acquired today.
So what interests does Dave have of late, I know he can well modulate Of vehicular excursions With many diversions Plus RF to radiate.
What frequency does Dave modulate Every two minutes old mate, If you take Dave in your car He’ll natter hear & afar. Don’t listen or you will be late.
But radio equipped young Dave now is He really has become quite a whizz From CB beginning And a bit of learning A callsign and doing the bizz
But Amanda’s license is full While Dave’s is a Novice, no bull! So learning away Then came the day For Dave the A test to take.
May exam came and then went Dave now waits with intent To equal his spouse With full license in house And for some more ears to bend.
Old cars intrigue Dave too Only a Cavalier will do With its front wheel drive And wheels that do jive When welly on ice you to do.
Now my daughter Amanda did say That her Dave makes her quite happy He,s good with his hands Not bad on the land Is that what she meant to say?
But step out of line Dave will not, He,s had the warning from Mott There;s dad and her brother Plus a few other. There,s really quite a lot.
We all know Amanda’a not mad In keeping the cash that she had She knows what is right, She,s plain blooming tight She,s just like her tight fisted dad.,
But a passion for cars they do share And the Radio bugs planted there And camping as well In the Forest to tell Of foxhunts some here and some there.
But Telegram time is now hear What next I hear moaned from the rear I’m sorry to say, that some can’t come today So message from Britanny is here.
Its Dave NIP and Anne ZSF Who send you both there very best There marriage has lasted Sometimes they have fasted But always persued life with zest.
So best wishes from Jan and I This isn’t the place to try Much more stupid verse I hear someone curse Surely not from I
But form filling time now comes last. That City and Guilds Dave,--- You’ve Passed. The certificates here & you owe me a beer. I’m now going to sit on my ass!.
Clive 10.6.2000 In the S..t again!
Oh Mrs Mott,
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